Prison Poem #00

In a hole. I find myself hear not because i fell but because i walked.  Slowly but surly step after downward step until I have to look all the way up to find sunlight.  Now I climb. Now I fight against the odds and struggle to survive   Survival is not guarantied and coming out of this unsecured is pretty much impossible.  Fighting agents this current will hurt.  Knowing my goal will make the pain bearable   It will be hard exhausting work but the struggle I relish  I once said that I would dig my self out of this hole when it deep enough.  Prison is deep enough.  I don't know why put myself into this mess just like i don't know why its time to get out of it. but it is.

Prison Poem #21

Life Is Like

life is like a rose.
life is like three dollar bill; pretty and real and spent well.
life is like a summer day; lazy
life is like no word at all; understanding
life is like time going backwards; things make sense
life is like sex in a hammock; two people afraid of falling out
life is like a prison cell; cozy, constructive, confusing, inspiring
life is like drugs bought on the street; over priced and unsatisfying
life is like a wake up hangover; wondering what happened the night before
life is like an old tombstone; politely ignored
life is like
life is like a misunderstanding
life is like a person
life
life is like a piece of fruit
life is like a peace of fruit
life is like a still portrait; sitting still for hours in an awkward pose
life is like a contortionists smile
life is like a wake; people coming together
life is
life is like a simple truth
life is like a simulation
life is like time trapped in a bottle
life is like the impossible
life is like a bad wine; only enjoyed at low standards
life is like a crazy person giving good advice
life is like a triumvirate
life is like death
life is like blood
life is like eating your greens
life is like expectation
life is
life is not like rose
life is like sweet honey
life is like bitter sugar
life is like a Nobel prize; not always given to the deserving
life is like a landfill
life is like superman
life is like a poem on repeat
life is like the shiny new toy
life is like Freud, Grafenberg, Descartes, Jung, Plato, Nietzsche, Gendell, Sunzi, and Rosen all in one
life is like a lie
life is like a GPS with out street names or destinations
life is like cake
life is like a Vandergraph machine
life is like choice
life is like change
life is
life is like life

Prison Poem #20

I am myself alone.  I am a singular entity in a maelstrom of others.  I am by myself in the emptiness between others.  I am singular and solidly consistant, my size does not vary, my perseption limeted.  i have a singular perception, it being incomplete.  I am just me.  This is new.  What am I? A machine of biological complexity processing fuel, exerting waist, and expending energy?

I am everyone.  all ma I.  The one I see is me.  God perceives all.  I see the waring parties and they are themselves each other, they are me and I they.  We are me as I am all.  Love rains.  Im so alone I am more man then god.

I am a man searching for his god half.  I am a devine uncertainty with without divinity.  I am

Happy Newtonmas

Today is the celebration of the berth of sir Issac Newton.  and it can be done so with a decorated tree and the giving of presents.  Or the dropping of apples.  traditions regarding this holiday haven't relay been cemented.  For me the important thing is the celebrating 

Happy Newtonmas!

More from the past

Writing is sex. Good writing is like good sex; you have that satisfied smile afterword. The act of writing is often vary hard and needs a lot of pushing to get it done. If someone gets into a writers groove then the process becomes vary carnal. The act of writing can be very pleasurable as with sex. As with the nature of sex writing begets more writing. When writing with a passion there can come a time when pressure builds up and the final release is glorified in the form of words on the page, sometimes haphazard and messy sometimes not. When the writer is charged up again then they might find the sensual nature of their work vary comforting and will enjoy returning to the task.

Prison Poem #18

Its funny how growing up I was a member of the cult of self worship.  But I always thought religion was bogus.  The thing about therapy is it can be an addiction and now that I've gone without the therapist I self analyze  Any starter in the field knows the dangers of this but its also unavoidable.  I am great-full for any outside analyses but I don't usually go searching for it. When I do its for a one of two reasons.  One to self a firm a preconceived notion, two to get an objective perspective when I know I need one.  The first happens more often and Id prefer it never to.  The second is good but sometimes I thank its my goal but I'm under a cloud of self deception. One form of objectivity I've neglected frequently, is to write down my thoughts for tatter review.  This I do often now.  I like poetry because I can express a mood or feeling and be completely subjective with out worry.  My best poems are when I'm in the thralls of a particular emotion. Such times my rational is always clouded.  At these moments my rationale mind takes a back seat.  My preferred definition of insanity is the forfeit of rational thought.  The reason I don't like Einsteins is because there are times when rational thought dictates the repetition of actions. I should write a poem that has the starting lines repeat 'the definition of insanity is' Thought Id never keep a journal because I was to afraid of what the reader would think of me.  Now I see the catharsis in realising my thoughts to paper.  Not relying on it but giving it the burden.

Prison Poem #11

Through the Cartesian thought experiment I can not trust the reality around me except on the assumption that it has been therefor it is likely to still be.  Statistics become the most reliable ground for truth.  Emotion throws a monkey wrench into this whole thing.

I'm sinking

I feel like I'm tredding water.  Trying to get some where but losing energy and I call out for help but I don't eaven get a floater.  Its painful.  Its Scary. It makes me angry! Now You get to see me angry! I don't turn green.  I turn cold.  I calculate.  Revenge is a dish that's not easy to make.
I am looking for work anything that will help me to keep going until I can get to where I want to go.  I just hope the dour is open when I get there, assuming i get there at all.  The next days, weeks, month will be crucial!
There will be a new poem this wednesday 

Motevation

Run! That's all there is. Action. The willingness to do. I am working to change my life around. I was a passive slacker. I am now trying to make every moment count but. There's still this part of me that doesn't want to Suffer now for a long term goal. There are times when I remember it's more important to put up with this now then to repeat it later. I'm trying to make those moments more frequent. I run and that helps. I do yoga and that helps. I write and thy helps. I talk to people and that helps. I try to be accountable. There's this desire to run away strip naked and frolic with out a care in the world. I couldn't  last like that. There is a different kind of peace in responsibility, this is my goal. Routine is my serenity.  

Poem #1

I'm sitting in someone elses filth not seeing my oun.
Listening to an escape not seeing it as my get high.
Running from to get fit not seeing my oun escape.
Swimming in and out of coherint thought not seeing.
Returning to my past faliurs unwilling to see the direction I'm going.
I am trying to be one of the guys but I want nothing to do with those guys.
I have to choose and make the choice over and over every moment.

Prison Poem #7

Where are you Carl Sagan, they say you are no more but then where you ever?
Why don't you answer me Carl Sagan are you to preoccupied with something else right now?
I watch you Carl Sagan and I fallow the tune of your song.
The universe is everywhere even in your cashmere turtle neck.
Nothing will stop you Carl Sagan not even the Ghost oh so Holy.
Love is many a splendid thing and you know this Carl Sagan.
you know this all to well.  Down in the depths of heaven we travel Carl Sagan.  We are like explorers of a new frontier.  Not a thought for discretion have I.  In your investigation Carl Sagan did you ever find something and regret it? Did you ever keep some truths to your self?
Where are you Carl Sagan, I need to know!

How far is the next atom over?

To quote the skeptic down the street; "how far is far?" if you try to calculate the distance to anything you have to make certain assumptions. You have to assume the space in between is the same kind of space at each point. And that's just the beginning. So how far is it to the nearest star? 4.2421 light years. How far is the nearest pharmacy? This is a little harder for me to answer. How far is it to enlightenment? This is impossible for me to answer. Here's the thing: our knowledge of the first question's answer has changed the most. Our answer to the second question has been the most relative. Our answer to the last question has, in my opinion, always lacked something. Sometimes it lacks a bases in reality sometimes it lacks a bases in thought. So how close am I to the person next to me? How far are we to our neighbor? How far are you to the ones near you? And how close are you to yourself? How close are you to the ones you love? How close are you to happiness? It's not the answer that's important but the question to be considered.

I am smart?

I am smart I have knowledge. I know a lot of facts. It's crazy what kinds of things I know or will fill in. "here's a fun fact..." would could die from boredom before I finished telling all my fun facts. I know a lot about a lot of things. I can say hello in 10 different languages. I can only speak English fluently and Spanish passingly. Me espanyole ess mui bweno en me cabesa. I know how to do a lot stuff... theoretically! I with my knowledge I can problem solve a lot of stuff even that witch I have never seen before. I offer it sometimes because I know how, or will figure out how, or will find out how, to fix stuff. I won't tell you anything you don't already know unless I do. Knowledge is not power; knowledge is potential power at best. I am freely willing to share what I have. 
I am not sure why I feel the need to complain about the fact I know something.  Its a good trait to have.  I have helped myself for the knowing of something but it when relying on just my smarts I usually haven't succeeded It takes more than knowing to win.  What is the other half of the battle?

Mind Stream Rant

Its funny how growing up I was a member of the cult of self worship.  But I always thought realign was bogus.  The thing about therapy is it can be an addiction and now that I've gone without the therapist I self analyze.  Any starter in the field knows the dangers of this but its also unavoidable.  I am grateful for any outside analyses but I don't easily go searching for it.  When I do its for one of two reasons: one to self affirm a preconceived notion, two to get an objective perspective when I know I need one.  The first happens more often and Id prefer it never to.  The second is good but sometimes I think its my goal but I'm under a cloud of self deception.  One form of objectivity I've neglected frequently, is to write down my thoughts for latter review.  This I do often now.  I like poetry because I can express a mood or feeling and be completely subjective with out worry.  My best poems are writ in the thralls of a particular emotion.  Such times my rational is always clouded.  At these moments my rational mind takes a back seat.  My prefers definition of insanity is the forfeit of rational thought.  The reason i don't like Einstein's is because there are times when rational thought dictates the repetition of actions.  I should write a poem that has the starting lines repeat 'the definition of insanity is...' Thought Id never keep a journal because I was to afraid of what the reader would think of me.  Now I see the catharsis in releasing my thoughts to paper.  Not relying on it but giving it the burden.

Philosophical argument

In the nature of human interests I think all people should die.  This is not a threat but an interest in the continuation of entropy.  In the history of this planet 100% of all living things have died.  If one were not to it would be unprecedented.  The understanding given by the law of entropy is that immortality is impossible.  All things no matter how old will cease.  Any goal for immortality is therefor ignorant.  But a goal for longevity is not.  Though to simply strive to off death is also ignorant for one must consider the condition of life.  Currently the goal of a long healthy life has not found fault.  Yet those who pursue it seem to occupy all of there tine with this pursuit.  If all time is spent staying alive and fit then nothing is accomplished for those that have good health naturally know its a means not an ends.  Being of a good and fit nature allows other things to be accomplished.  So if all effort is required to simply maintain good form then the point is moot.  There is a successful counter argument to this; If the aim is to enjoy life and obtaining good health does this then all one needs to do is obtain good health.